40 and Fired had a better ring to it than 39 and Layed Off--thus the title and impetus for a blog. I'm a freelance writer living in the mountains of Colorado with my husband, children and high maintenace pets. I'm over the whole turning 40 thing, so this is now more about my humorous/sarcastic take on life, excercise and our daily adventures.

Monday, November 22, 2010

If I Take You To A Movie....

There's series of children's books illustrating entertaining and fantastical chains of events: If you Give a Moose a Muffin, If you Give a Pig a Pancake, If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, etc.

Today, I had my very own typical chain of events. Perhaps not fantastical, but entertaining in the fact, that whether you want to admit it or not, you can relate.

My darling children don't have school this week. And after a morning spent juggling work and the girls, we were all at wits end. I finally negotiated one hour of peace and quiet in exchange for taking them to a movie matinee, complete with popcorn and candy.

Truth be told, it wasn't even a productive hour, but the deal had been dealt. Off we went to the movies.

Movie theater popcorn is one of my major food vices. If I have it, I cannot stop eating it until the bucket is scraped clean. Before kids, I went to the movies often enough, that it was possible to convince myself to go without, but not now. I cheapskate it and bring my own water, but otherwise bring on the popcorn, butter and candy (M&Ms or Junior Mints are the best).

Today's story begins with Brandon at the concession stand, convincing me to order one large popcorn instead of two mediums because they were really the same size (despite the vast price difference), and the larges had free refills--I so didn't need to know that.

If I Take You To A Movie
If I take you to a movie, I'm going to eat way too much.
Then I will feel fat and bloated, and want to go for a run.
But we won't get home in time for me to run before the unload groceries/fix dinner/bath/bedtime mayhem begins.
So I won't eat dinner, which will cause my blood sugar to drop, and me to get really grouchy.
Then I will blame the entire situation on John because, for some illogical reason, its always his fault.
(FYI - That's where we are at the moment).
I will go to bed hungry and wake up with even less patience.
Which means by about 10:30 am, I'll be saying, "If I take you to a movie...."

Actually tomorrow I think we'll go bowling. If I remember correctly, they have decent pizza and cold beer. Oh, and really cute shoes.


  1. Getting ready for OIWC bowling night?

  2. But of course!I can't disappoint my team. I promised you I would practice this year, and this is the first time since, ummm, the tournament.